Annnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddddddd....another week off to a not so good start. I've only wanted to quit a few things in my entire life...and only once have I ever actually followed through and quit (with the approval of my parents). Now, I know that this would never get the approval of them, but I still want to quit! There are also only a few times where I've ever felt stupid and that I didn't know anything...and currently I feel that every day. I am in a major that I can get A's in every class because the requirements are super easy and the grading is even easier. However, I have to write a paper scientifically, and do you think any of my classes have prepared me to do that? Nope! Not a single one. How am I expected to write a complete literature review (15-20 pages) when I have no clue how to write scientifically? You would think you would be provided with some pointers on how to write scientifically...nope haven't gotten those. The only one I've received...don't write conversationally. How do you do that? I didn't think I was writing as though I was talking to someone...nor does it sound like a conversation when I read it. I try to make the necessary changes and I'm told that it's not good enough, but why? I don't know.
I feel like a total failure every time that paper comes back to me, and we're only revising the first four pages currently. Seriously?! If four pages take this long, what the hell is going to happen with 17?!?! I can only imagine. And graduation in May...probably not happening. Now all my requirements are due by April 27th...almost 2 months away. Everything must be accepted and approved before I can move onto each subsequent step. Impossible...I always used to say nothing is impossible. I'm beginning to believe that graduating in May is impossible.
I don't feel like this is going to prepare me for any type of job I take...considering I know I can't write well...I am obviously not going to apply for a job that requires me to write scientifically every day! I am also beginning to think that I will never find a job that I will be good at. I don't have experience in anything but two things: coaching and teaching. Neither of which apply to anything in the biology field other than teaching.
This is depressing today...I know. But this is what I feel like currently and need to get it out! I need help writing...I need someone to read it and tell me what to fix...I need someone who knows how to write scientifically...How many people do you know that know how to do that? 0...here. It's a major sad face kind of day...and probably week at that.
Can't wait for this part of my life to be done and over with...and yet I will be stressed out to the max for the remainder of it! Ugh!
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