chugging away...

I feel like I am on a constant roller coaster ride...and the pathetic thing is...I don't really like them!!!!  One day I feel great about what's happening...the next day I dread what might occur.  I often find myself telling myself (???what?!) to just be happy and go with it...it's like Dory from Finding Nemo...just keep swimming, just keep swimming.  "Just keep smiling, Just keep smiling."  eek!  

I finally think I've determined what I want to do when I'm finished with this master's degree...and the funny thing is...I don't need a master's degree in anything to do it!  But it requires 3-9 months probably of studying to prepare myself for the certification exam.  We're looking at May or June before I even think of taking the test.  Then it's job search time..and where.  Wellington (Mom, Dad, Megan, family would all love this!)?  Columbus (Frank and Miranda would love this!)?  Out of Ohio (Aaron would love this!)?  Where would I love to go?!  Not sure.  I'm afraid of being somewhere on my own without any friends or any family.  I would miss that security terribly.  But, I feel like there isn't much left in Wellington for me (growth wise).  I don't feel I would grow as a person if I went back there permanently.  I'll just have to wait and see I suppose....

On another note...Waiting...for certain words...certain gestures...from you...will they ever come?  Who knows?  How are you doing?  What's wrong?  Is everything ok?  Do you need anything?  I love you.  All things I am dying to hear.  Maybe I am expecting too much.  I am head over heels...but you are leaving...for an extreme period of time...and I won't hardly get to talk to you or see you.  Will I be strong enough to do it?  Is it worth it?  Only time will tell...

Lunges....3240 and counting!!!  Added weight to some of my lunges today....should feel it tomorrow.  Getting my ass in shape...now that's a priority if I've ever heard one! haha  Til next time...