It's been awhile...just over a week. I lost my aunt to lung cancer this past week...such a short period of time between knowing about it and then losing her. The last major memory I have of her being healthy (before we knew anything) was the Relay for Life dinner cruise on Lake Erie. I had been on this cruise with her the past two years...and many other family members. Based on stories I've heard over the past few days...this was typical of my aunt. She was fun-loving, wild, crazy, a kid at heart. And I feel I got the chance to witness some of that. She didn't need alcohol to be a blast...she was just simply that way! Dancing around the pole on the boat...I loved every minute of watching her...and I'm pretty sure she loved every minute that she was on that boat! We didn't win much money that night...but we had an absolute blast with everyone! I am glad that is one of the last memories I have of her being healthy....being 100% of who she was!
It's hard to think about never seeing her again...I will never get to laugh again with her...I will never get to just sit and chat with her. What happens at this point? At death? Where does the soul go? Does she live on in another realm? Such a perplexing part of life...and we'll never really know what happens. Maybe that's it...maybe that's where it all ends. I hate to think that's how it is.
This event was something I hope to learn from. Although it seems like we'll always have each other and our families...you honestly never know what will happen. She was doing well two weeks prior...and now she's no longer with us. I hate to say...it's such a cliche...something like this makes you have an appreciation for life and to not take for granted what you have. I always say..oh I'll see them next week. But you never know when you won't have that next week.
Running this week has proven to be a very good thing for me. When I felt I couldn't deal with my aunt's death, I laced up the shoes and hit the pavement. It's a perfect time to let your mind go...and not think about anything but the sound of your feet hitting the pavement...your breathing...the feel of your heart beating. Thursday....51 minutes of absolute freedom...where nothing else matters at that point. 51 minutes where I can cry and yell and scream...and it will be just me. Thank you running...I appreciate that! Speaking of running...it's time to hit the pavement again.
I love you Aunt Peggy and will always remember your spunkiness! :) May you rest in peace.
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