oh wow...long time coming

I can't believe it's been almost 3 months since I wrote last. I was going through a patch where I didn't feel like what I was writing or doing was worth a whole lot. I didn't have a job and was doing odd jobs like painting. While these were wonderful things to be doing, as I LOVE to paint, I didn't feel like I was accomplishing much in life. And I still question that on a regular basis. I have yet to really find my niche and what it all means. I don't feel like I really fit yet the way I would like to. I think about the people in my life and how happy they are in their jobs and how it seems to me like they know that what they are doing has meaning. I don't feel that yet. I am indeed educating the future of this world. And often times, I worry about that future! (EEEEEK!!!!!) But I am not sure I am really making a difference. I want to make a difference in someone's life! Even if it's just one single person! 

I heard from a fellow teacher the other day about a former student of mine. They were in my class during my second year of teaching. She is now attending a university and taking a biology course. Her mother told me that everything she is learning so far has been a review of my class! That made me feel like I was definitely doing something right. While hearing that was awesome (!!!!), I struggle to feel like I am at that same level 2 years later after I left. I don't feel like I am the same teacher as I was then and I definitely don't feel as though I am doing as good of a job. And that frustrates me! I know I must work my way back into this since I've been out for a little bit. And maybe the students are just different as well. We will see as time goes on.

My new job allows me more time to mess around in the "gym". I am trying some new things and trying to figure out what I want to do with myself! I want to be great at the things I do and the training aspect of myself is the same. I acquired my personal training license in July and have been working with some family members as well as non-family members. They have been steadfast through the times of hardly any equipment to the times with all the equipment we now have and my crazy trials on them! :) I hope they are enjoying what we do, because it is something I truly enjoy doing everyday! While sometimes it is hard to get myself out there everyday, as it is most of the time with anything, I know once I get done I will have loved every single minute of what I just did! And I want to pass that onto people and help them realize that working out and taking care of themselves can be so much fun, and hard work too! 

I will try to not go so long without a post from here on out! Maybe none of you are reading anymore...who knows! And I may even get back into posting some workouts on my other blog. We will see! :) Have a good one! 

it's been awhile again...

it's been awhile since i've written here. i got caught up in my other blog...and i feel like i actually have less time to get stuff done now that i've moved home. which is odd!! but i'll get it all squared away eventually.

i am in waves, north carolina for my last night of vacation. it's been a great week and i am not ready to leave. i love it here and i wonder regularly if i would still love the beach as much if i lived here constantly?? do you think it would wear off? sometimes i feel like i was meant to be near one...i suppose that's possible!

aaron and i share a journal that we write back and forth in...and it's always exciting to receive it. but this week i kept it and haven't sent it back and won't do so until next week. so i took it upon myself to write about a few different topics each day while i was here...so 8 days of vacation = 8 different topics. i felt like it gave me a chance to reflect upon myself and find some things that i really wanted to find out. it doesn't mean any of that went into the journal necessarily...but i felt like i thought a few more things out while i was sitting and bumming on the beach all week! you want to talk about a serious beach bum...that would be me. i think i managed to spend at least 6 hours on the beach each day...if not 6, then damn close! but those 6 hours allow you to do a lot of thinking when you're just chilling.

i don't know where things go from here...my job ends june 30 and i don't currently have anything lined up. my only current plans are to continue painting for my double cousins...which is great because i also find painting to be extremely relaxing. so while i wait for a potential job to work out, i will continue to be a painter! i have a few things in the works and it would be great if they would work out. still gotta plan my personal training test too so i can get to work on that! things have the potential to be very good for me soon. :) just patiently waiting.

bodybuilding...

Posing practice began Monday with Shawn....and yesterday I could only manage to get my right lat to show its little face! Persistence paid off though! Continued to practice today...and I nailed it tonight! I am able to get both out and showing now!!!  Still a little rough with the left, but practice will continue to prove irreplaceable! Judge for yourself!!! 

As I continue to practice and add poses, I will continue to update! :)  Stay tuned!

things are coming together...

may is ending....already. i can't even believe it. it's amazing how fast time goes now...the saying is true...as you get older, time flies! holy cow!

spent the last weekend with the man....GREAT weekend. last time we will get to see each other for at least 6 months. that will be rough, but i have never, ever been more confident that we will be fine through every step of this part of our relationship! christmas time will be incredible i just know...can't wait! as this part of my journey gets easier and easier...it makes me excited for all the things that are to come.

it would seem to me that really the only part that i need to get straightened out now is my job! interview today...pretty excited for it. this job will allow me to stay at home for awhile...which i need and am happy about! keep your fingers crossed everyone. :)

considering starting a new blog...something that chronicles my workout/eating phase that i am currently wrapped up in! i am slowly but surely stocking mom and dad's garage/barn with some kick ass workout equipment. who needs a gym when you can go to your barn and kick some serious ass!!!!!  will also be hoping to stock up dad's garden with a few goodies...and see how i do with my green thumb (is that right???)! recipes of healthy, wonderful, tasty choices...workouts...fitness tips...and just trying to be awesome. (russ i think this is a testament to your blog quite possibly...i want to be awesome!)  i have never felt better physically...or enjoyed more how i am looking physically. i want to be bad ass :)  these are great goals...and i feel a blog devoted to just that would be incredibly sweet!!!  as i get settled in and get things figured out, this will probably begin. look for it in the next few weeks!

ohio weather is making me extremely happy as of late....lots and lots of sunshine with great temperatures. in heaven again :)  hehe  have a great one everyone!!!

there's no better time...

this title could apply to a few things going on right now...

1. TO MOVE HOME. my softball coaching career is winding down...only about 30 days more left. but the best part of that gig has already gone...coaching the girls. they are all home for break now, so it's recruiting time. of which i did not partake in last year...so just summer break for me! while that's all fine and dandy...the girls are the best part of that job. and i will miss them terribly. certain ones that is! i suppose it's good i took this opportunity to coach at this level...as i have decided that coaching softball is no longer a passion of mine. i think i might actually never want to be around it again. that's a shame! but that's why we try things out!

2. TO POST A BLOG! megan held a fundraiser tonight for our relay for life team at mom and dads. had a few glasses of wine...so of course there is no better time than now to post a blog! a little wine to take the edge can probably lead to an interesting blog! we will see! :)

3. TO MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY. i feel like right now there is nothing i want more than to get a job with the military teaching at a base in europe somewhere. how could i not want this?! i don't have to pay to get there. i don't have anything holding me to the states. no ring on the finger...no man to stay in town for. hmm...europe is sounding ridiculously good right about now!

4. TO LEARN TO SAY NO. the hardest part about being home is the temptation to eat shit that i don't want to eat! living in the apartment and feeding myself was easy...no extra money spent on stuff i won't eat or stuff i don't need to eat. but now...candy is readily available...ice cream is readily available. i have to learn a whole new level of self control. do i really want to lose another 10 pounds to compete in bodybuilding? yes i want to do it. will it be ridiculously hard to get through the next 3 months? yes! harder to count calories here...we'll see how the next 3 months go in terms of that!

while grad school phase has ended...i have no idea where i go next. i want a job that i have no clue if i'll even qualify for! i keep my fingers crossed for italy....wouldn't it be something to live in italy for a year or two?! oh i can only imagine!!!!

i am independent...and will be for awhile...this is the perfect time to figure out what i want to do and do it. however, that also requires money on most occasions, so i must find something that allows me to make money while doing something new and exciting. maybe then...he'll realize wellington and i aren't soulmates. after being here for a few days...i realize there isn't a lot here that i miss terribly. yes i love seeing my family...but regularly, it's nothing i can't get somewhere else.

wellington....i am officially breaking up with you. something better is going to come along very soon...and i will take it! :)  so long!

On my way....

Second week of may.
..classes officially over for my graduate career!!!! I couldn't be happier thanks to that simple fact! So ready to be completely done with that phase of my life!
I am seeing incredible progress with my workout and diet...hence the picture I have included! That is my first attempt at posing...a little rough but looking pretty good!!! Weighed in at 127 yesterday morning and I am thinking probably another 10 pounds to see what I want to see! I love the amount of energy I have and how good I feel everyday...which I am sure is a testament to both working out and the changes in the food I'm eating! This is something I want....and I will get it!
Job searching is kind of in a lull...so I'm not sure what the next chapter will bring...but I do have to make a decision. Stay in the Youngstown area or move home?? Tough choice...there are reasons for both but I can't determine which one is better. All in due time I suppose!
Now with no classes left...maybe I'll have more time to find myself as well as post more and exciting things!! Hopefully....keeping my fingers crossed!! :)

One part of the journey is comin to a close....

Part 1 of my journey is getting ready to come to a close. Only 2 weeks left of class and I will officially be done with grad school. I will be relieved to be done and not have to worry about classes or homework anymore. Will I use this degree? I have no idea! If not, I am still a better and more educated person for having gotten it.

The other half of part 1 would include softball. We have two weekends of regular season left and hopefully another for the tournament. We should get there as long as we keep playing the way we know how! I believe this part of the journey has a chance of coming to a close as well. I love softball and always will....there will always be a very special place in my heart for the sport but I don't know if I want it as the focus of my life from here on out. If I stuck with it, I'm not sure I would continue at this place or level. The girls have been beyond wonderful and I couldn't have asked for a better group to come in and work with. I've also developed some great friendships thanks to the sport and I will always cherish those!

While part 1 comes to a close, I know there are wonderful things to come in parts 2 and on, even though I have no idea what's next right now. I am not getting hired for any of the positions I have applied for so that is discouraging. However, I have also come to realize that teaching is always something I wouldn't mind going back to. That makes me feel more at ease in my situation. I am studying for my personal training certification as we speak and am very excited about the prospective opportunities that will provide me. I know I can enjoy this full time or part time.

Lastly, I have been working towards that 123 lbs by end of May, however I was stuck in a major rut at 132 lbs for about 2 weeks but good news is I made it off of that damn number!! Down to 130 lbs officially today! My Tuesday changed dramatically because of that as well as my motivation to keep going! It is renewed and I am excited to keep going!

Things are looking up in this one's journey! I will figure out who I am and what I want from life. When? Who cares at this point...I'll figure it out and it will be great getting there! Can't wait!

What are you doing to make yourself better each and everyday?

sorry for taking so long....

late late late!  new year's resolution: write more blogs. and i suck at that one!!! :) 

however, i feel this will be a rather good one today. turned 27 on sunday (happy birthday to me! haha)...and feeling pretty good about it actually! i feel like this was a good weekend and past week for myself as i figured out some really important aspects of my life! 

first...met with willie to get my body fat tested...first time since january 18th i think it was where i came in at 30%. officially...i was at 24.7% on april 4. super pumped about that!!!  and i haven't been running....which makes it that much better!!!!!!!!!!  eating right...and just flat out kicking some ass in the gym without running does a body good! 

two and three have to go right along with the idea of fitness! second...i have decided to get my personal training certification. i am always talking about how i want to make a difference...and i figured what better way to make a difference than helping people get in shape! i love the way i feel and just want more...and i want to help people feel the same way. perfect! so studying begins tomorrow! :)  

third...and im a little nervous about this one! i am considering getting into competitive natural bodybuilding! thanks to shawn...my trainer at Team BSS Fitness...i think this is a real possibility! he has confidence in me...and i think it would be fun. i want to get lean and seriously tough...and what better way to do it than this! i think it would be an excellent challenge for myself and now that i can't compete athletically in much else...this is perfect! :)  so to start off...

this is where i will officially begin from. weighed in at 133 today (thanks chicago and aaron for gaining 2 pounds over the weekend!!!). these are the best pictures i can get since i am home alone! haha  but it's a good way to document where i am at! so now it's out there for the world to know. i am shooting for the fall...still trying to make the decision in my head if really want to do this or not. but i am going to start...shooting to be 123 by the end of may...1 pound a week...it should be good. 

and things with aaron...couldn't be better! i am excited for what's in store for the both of us in the future. and i am happy with how things are now. he is freaking fantastic. :) 

4 weeks of school left...thank goodness!!!!!  

until next time...get out there and kick some ass!!! 

just a case of the mondays apparently...

apparently yesterday was strictly a horrific case of the mondays! feeling much better today. so my apologies to all of you readers out there for the extremely depressing post! i'm working on it!

back in the swing of things again today...sometimes i think it is strictly having to leave someone for the empty apartment. my mom and megan left yesterday...and i wanted to cry! because i knew there would be nothing but quiet in the apartment for the following hours after they left. i have no desire to do the school work that i have finished...as i don't foresee a job in that field coming anytime soon since i have 0 experience! how i will ever get that experience...who knows!

i'm sitting in class today...of which was pretty boring...and i realized that most of the stuff i have learned in my master's, i don't feel that i will ever use in the real world. talk about discouraging! and it suddenly dawned on me...if i can't find a job in the field i am trying to get into...i will look into teaching online! there are numerous opportunities for this and it would be a perfect way to transition. it would allow me to make money but at the same time do some research into what i want to do. does that mean i'll leave coaching? i have no idea yet. i plan on looking for opportunities in that as well...but as always it is dependent upon being hired.

i don't know exactly who i am yet...i don't know where i want to be in 5 years...let alone 2! 7 weeks left of classes...and i am counting down every stinking minute of it...if i don't get my paper finished in time and get all my other requirements done...oh well. i never understand why people do something they hate? and yet here i am doing exactly that...i am doing something that i hate...i would gladly pay someone to finish for me! :)  lol unfortunately i am not sure what i would pay with...as i have no money and am severely in debt.

over the weekend...i listened to aaron discuss all these financial strategies that he learned in bootcamp...and i can't help but think what it would be like to be entirely worry free! i worry everyday about will i have enough money to get gas and food this month?! that's horrible! how am i supposed to toy with the idea of ever buying a house...or ever having children?! eek!

although i have absolutely nothing figured out...as most people don't i assume...i suppose i'll just take whatever is thrown at me. some of these things make me miserable (paper being one)...while others have made me extremely happy! i don't know what's going to happen in the next 7 weeks with the wrapping up of my master's...and honestly i am not really sure if i even care at this point if i get it...would it be a royal waste of my money?? yes definitely. but would i still be able to find a job?? yes definitely. pros and cons of not finishing your master's degree at this point??  hmm...maybe tomorrow.

back in this place of loneliness...

spring break trip is over...back in austintown. i had the greatest weekend in the last 6 weeks...and i wish it would never have ended. i am now back in the place where i feel more alone and empty than ever before. i feel i have no direction in my life. i am in love with someone who knows exactly what he wants and is going after it...and i am in a place where i have no idea what i want...and have no clue what the next step is when my current job is finished in 3 months. i want to have a purpose...feel like i'm changing something or making a difference...anything. and i have no idea what will allow me to do that. no idea where to look...and i'm getting a master's degree in something that will probably never help me accomplish any of that. a degree that i will probably never use because of my lack of experience.

i hate coming back to this place...i feel like there is not much to look forward to...i don't enjoy going to class...i don't enjoy being in this town/apartment...the only thing i enjoy half the time is softball. i want out of here.

i want it to be september of next year...when he'll be done. i am lonely...i miss talking to him...seeing him...touching him...anything with him! it probably would have been easier not to see him for the next year...after seeing him i want to see him every day. i am so extremely proud of him and i want him to do everything he wants to do. i am just being selfish...he is ok with not seeing me. i wish i could be that strong...

i am counting down...counting down to the end of school...but yet i have no idea what comes next...after that i don't have a job. i don't have school to go to. i have literally nothing to look forward to...aaron will be making his way to california for training. NOTHING...what do i do? i can't afford to go anywhere...i can't afford to do anything. i feel like everything is falling apart all at once...just keeps crumbling. what else can possibly crumble at this point???

trying to beat this feeling of loneliness and emptiness...but i don't know how....

catching up...

well it's been awhile since i have graced you all with my writing presence!:)

the last few weeks have been very relaxing actually. my professor had my paper so i didn't have to worry a damn minute about that thing! i have it back in my possession now though...and just as i expected...he changed a majority of the first 6 pages to his writing. i knew this would happen! which i guess i can't be that mad about...it's one less thing i have to do. so i think i'm done stressing over this paper...because i know how it's going to turn out from this point forward: his writing. awesome!

joined a gym this week that has an 8 week transformation challenge. im pretty pumped about this. 8 weeks and i plan on being able to kick someone's ass!!!  haha  the first class i attended last friday was incredible...ropes, push ups, throwing weighted balls, pulling sleds, and carrying sandbags.  freakin sweet!  first two classes were pretty kick ass as well...i leave there each time feeling strong!!  i had my second personal training session this week and just felt like i accomplished so much during 1 hour...unlike when i run!!!  fyi...stress fraction in the right foot = not awesome at all!

the previous point reminds me to fill you in on new year's resolutions. i have completely nixed a resolution: marathon. marathon...i am over you officially. you caused me to injure the foot after 5 months of running...and this pisses me off! ill just throw some weighted balls around, whip the rope, do push ups on the bosu ball, carry kegs and sandbags, and push sleds all over the place. much cooler than running! :)

working out 4-6 times a week...while i have not stuck to this totally...i am working out multiple times a week. but i do really want to kick my ass in gear and get it going. and i need to do that with this 8 week transformation challenge...reinstating this resolution as of today. florida seems like a perfect place to start that!

blogging more...well obviously i've failed at that one! lol  i haven't signed in for who knows how long!!!!  i was just talking with a certain someone today about blogging...and i often feel like i am just complaining on here and sometimes am hesistant to post because i don't just want to complain. i want to have something meaningful i guess. so i'm working on that part...and pictures...well i officially suck at that part!  ill fix that next weekend when im in chicago for aaron's graduation!!!  pictures to come!!!

and losing body fat...well while i am not sure how much body fat i have lost yet...i do know that i have lost 12 pounds since the beginning of january. i am currently weighing in at 132...i don't think i've weighed this much since junior high!!!  maybe a short period of time during my junior year in college when i slept through lunch for 2 months during 6 am practices...otherwise i really think it was junior high!  haha i feel great...which is the best part of the whole thing. i had my body fat tested on january 18th i believe...and according to the 3 site caliper test, i regret to announce that it estimated 30%...ugh!  however, i just had it tested on the machine that you hold out in front of you at the gym on tuesday, march 6th and that was at 22.4%. talk about a serious discrepancy!!!!  haha  so i plan on getting tested again with the 3 site caliper test sometime this month...and then at the end of my 8 week transformation challenge i will check in with that too.  so in the next 2 months i will have a definite answer to this goal!

my diet has improved as well. i buy more fruits and vegetables at the store...much less processed food. which i'm super ecstatic about. i think it's truly paying off as well...considering i have managed to make it through the coldest months of the year without getting sick!!!  hells yeah!!! :)  i try to buy organic when i can! loving it!

and finally a little update on aaron and i...while he has been gone at navy bootcamp training since january 23rd, i have only spoken to him 1 time on the phone...and that was on january 23rd!  ahh!  he has called twice since then and i have missed both calls :(  i am on high alert currently with my phone just patiently waiting for him to call again! on march 16th he will graduate from boot camp...and he was named honor recruit of his division!!!!  so that's pretty exciting.  i can't wait to go straight from our florida trip to chicago to see him graduate!!!  i am super proud of him and knew he would do extremely well.  while it has been difficult, it hasn't been as hard as i was expecting.  i stay super busy with ball and school so i don't have much time to think about it. and thanks to a new good friend, i have someone who i know i can talk to about it and they will just listen! :)  thank you...you know who you are!!

school is winding down...only 8 weeks left. which also means only that much time left with the softball team. i'm not sure where my path will take me...and that is excruciatingly scary for me! i don't know what i'm good at and i don't know what i want to spend my life doing. when i get a job, i want to be the best at it that i can be and i currently don't feel like i know what that might be. i want to make a difference in someone's life...or make a difference in general. where do i find that? i suppose we'll find out in due time...

currently on our way to florida....and we have like 16 hours left!!  haha  gotta love the bus...

til next time...:)

just totally feeling it...

Annnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddddddd....another week off to a not so good start. I've only wanted to quit a few things in my entire life...and only once have I ever actually followed through and quit (with the approval of my parents). Now, I know that this would never get the approval of them, but I still want to quit! There are also only a few times where I've ever felt stupid and that I didn't know anything...and currently I feel that every day. I am in a major that I can get A's in every class because the requirements are super easy and the grading is even easier. However, I have to write a paper scientifically, and do you think any of my classes have prepared me to do that? Nope! Not a single one. How am I expected to write a complete literature review (15-20 pages) when I have no clue how to write scientifically? You would think you would be provided with some pointers on how to write scientifically...nope haven't gotten those. The only one I've received...don't write conversationally. How do you do that? I didn't think I was writing as though I was talking to someone...nor does it sound like a conversation when I read it. I try to make the necessary changes and I'm told that it's not good enough, but why? I don't know.

I feel like a total failure every time that paper comes back to me, and we're only revising the first four pages currently. Seriously?! If four pages take this long, what the hell is going to happen with 17?!?! I can only imagine. And graduation in May...probably not happening. Now all my requirements are due by April 27th...almost 2 months away. Everything must be accepted and approved before I can move onto each subsequent step. Impossible...I always used to say nothing is impossible. I'm beginning to believe that graduating in May is impossible.

I don't feel like this is going to prepare me for any type of job I take...considering I know I can't write well...I am obviously not going to apply for a job that requires me to write scientifically every day! I am also beginning to think that I will never find a job that I will be good at. I don't have experience in anything but two things: coaching and teaching. Neither of which apply to anything in the biology field other than teaching.

This is depressing today...I know. But this is what I feel like currently and need to get it out! I need help writing...I need someone to read it and tell me what to fix...I need someone who knows how to write scientifically...How many people do you know that know how to do that? 0...here. It's a major sad face kind of day...and probably week at that.

Can't wait for this part of my life to be done and over with...and yet I will be stressed out to the max for the remainder of it! Ugh!

job searching....

I sit here late on a Wednesday night while I'm tutoring.  Or waiting to tutor as I'm not getting any students tonight.  And so I keep looking for jobs and applying.  I've only been looking for a few days...and I'm already frustrated.  Every job wants you to have some kind of experience.  I have NO experience in anything related to my Master's degree.  I can't even put that I have laboratory experience.  Thanks grad school for preparing me for this!  I write cover letters that say although I have no experience, I wish you would take a chance on me!

How am I expected to find a job when everyone wants 3-5 years experience?!  ughh!  Any suggestions in terms of finding a job would be much appreciated!

On a lighter note, got a letter from Aaron today! :)  Made my entire week...thank goodness...I've been dying to see that damn thing in the mailbox!!!  Booked my ticket to Chicago for March...can't wait to see his face! :)

Working on finding some good questions to pose to you all...funny thing is...I won't put some up because I have no idea how to answer them!  ha!  Maybe this weekend while on a 10 hour bus trip....

Short and sweet tonight...the way it probably always should be!

Best sister

This has been a stressful week me. Trying to finish a paper so I can graduate and spending every free minute of my life on it. To top that off I have not had communication with Aaron for 3 weeks now. Really missing him. But to make the week better Megan came out to visit for the entire weekend! Couldn't be any better. And while I hate a lot of things right now, she made me feel a million times better. I appreciate her worrying about me. She is pretty awesome! I have no idea what comes next or where ill be in 3 months but I know I have someone who believes in me 100% and will back me up no matter what I choose. Thank you sister for making my worst days a little bit brighter! Love you!!!!! :)

just another manic monday!

Well technically my Monday hasn't been manic...but my Friday was!!!  ugh.  Talk about the worst Friday I've probably had in years...literally.  Just trying to get through this semester and graduate on time...but it's looking like that might be falling by the wayside.  I may have to wait and graduate at the end of the summer semester.  While this is not what I really want...it's really not that terrible.  However, I am disappointed in the way things have gone because I don't feel I was given adequate direction in determining this lovely timeline I am now following at record pace!  New timeline = 15-25 page paper done by Valentine's Day (awesome...NOT!), revise a million times, allow my committee 2 weeks to read and accept, oral presentation and defense, and lastly 3 comprehensive final exams....all supposed to be finished by May 7.  While I think this seems rather reasonable...no one else does!  Apparently this revision process is going to take me 2 months.  AHHHHH!  And so my rant continues from Friday! I experienced a stress level that I didn't even know existed on Friday! Today, slightly experiencing a high stress level...but I have decided to let it all play out and not freak out.  If I don't get done, I don't get done.  I'll finish in May then.  Something I learned about myself today and this weekend...sometimes it isn't going to work out the way you want it, so just go with it!  I'm going! :)

So I'm going to start doing this regularly...ask myself a self discovery question each day!

Today's question: What type of people do I enjoy spending time with? 
I enjoy spending time with people who make me laugh.  I always enjoy having a good laugh, I think that is important to do everyday! I also enjoy spending time with someone who shares the same interests as me, but I also enjoy spending time with people who don't as well.  I want to learn everyday and I know that hanging out with people who can teach me something will allow me to keep learning!  An intelligent person would definitely be enjoyable!  There's a big but to this though, I don't enjoy spending time with people who are "know-it-alls"!  I know I don't want to spend time with someone who always has the right answer.  To go along with that, I don't like one-uppers! I enjoy people who care about others, want to see people do well, have fun in all that they do, laugh, joke, smile, and just enjoy life.  I enjoy the company of those that are smart, self-driven, funny, open-minded, active, sports-friendly, optimists (even though I myself am a pessimist!).  

What will this tell me about myself?  I'm not sure yet, but I am sure that the longer I continue to ask myself questions and make myself answer them, I will learn something!  Maybe I will stop surrounding myself with people I don't enjoy spending time with...but I'm not sure I even do that anyway!

I have two questions for any of you today as well.  I'd like to know what type of people you enjoy spending time with.  And my second question...I feel like I have no idea how to make friends!  Yes I'm 26 and I just said I don't know how to make friends!!!  ha  You can laugh, I know you are!  How do you make friends with someone?  

Have a great Monday everyone!

creative way to look at interval training!

More Health and Fitness News & Tips at Greatist.

1 week down...

two weeks into the semester...one week into aaron being gone.  ugh!  this week has actually been a rather productive one.  i have found a new place i enjoy going to get work done...panera.  thank you!  a nice hot tea and a booth and i'm ready to go.  i thought at first it might not work as i am easily distracted while working, but i feel i have gotten far more done there than i would ever get done in this dreaded apartment!  there is no room for work to be done in this place...ha! 

i have been able to keep myself in check with aaron gone...sunday sucked like no other...the rest of the week has been pretty good.  had a slide momentarily one night...but back on track!  i walk in the apartment and the first thing i notice is the pair of shoes that he couldn't stand to part with at boot camp.  this prompted us to make a very quick stop at goodwill on our way to the recruiter's office on sunday.  these shoes are so old...and he realizes this, but he just couldn't find it in him to part with them.  i like this about aaron!  :)  i may get old..but maybe he won't want to part with me either!  haha  fingers crossed! 

my running has gone right into the gutter this month...i jacked my foot up at the beginning of the month...i have taken time off and each time i try to go back it is not healed.  saw our trainer...possible sprain of a joint in the foot.  she is also a little skeptical of a possible stress fracture.  this would = one pissed off girl!  while i'm not sure about my running a marathon plans...i still like the possibility of being able to go outside and run when i want to!  

while this hasn't been the best week...there have been certain bright spots.  i am thankful for that otherwise it could have quite possibly ranked as the worst year ever!  it's time to begin accepting who i am and what i can offer and go with it.  i am not the smartest, the prettiest, best writer, coach, etc.  but i know what i can do and i will do those things to the best of my ability.  i have high hopes that the next 14 weeks will fly by and the work that i turn in will be sufficient enough to allow me to graduate with my degree.  if not, i suppose i am back at square one.....and then i'll simply figure it out from there.  so it goes:) 

last semester begins...

it's the first day of my last semester of grad school!  i am pretty excited for this...and my schedule just keeps getting better each class i visit! :)  haha  i am not exactly motivated to do all the work that will be required of me over the next 16 weeks, but i know i will just suck it up and do it.  i received the syllabi today for my two major classes...one won't be too bad, the other one is going to require a lot of writing on top of my 20 page paper that i have to write this semester.  i haven't been reading like i should...it's hard to sit down and read these papers when they are not the most exciting!  and then to put it all in a paper format and use citations, etc. makes me cringe!!!!  i am not a fan of writing...i am not good at it.  and i know when i submit it, it's going to get ripped to shreds and become his writing.  so why again do i have to write it?! lol  any suggestions on ways to compile a ton of research and then write it all down logically...i would love!

with the beginning of the spring semester, comes the beginning of my final softball season at YSU.  i am not sure how i feel about this yet.  i enjoy coaching softball...but i don't LOVE it.  i definitely don't think this is my true calling in life.  i don't think i have the tenacity to be a college coach.  that is definitely something i have learned about myself over the last year and a half.  i don't think it's the end of the world if they don't do exactly as i say...and maybe that's good...but here it's not so good.  i still expect great things from the girls, but i also realize that not a single one of them is going to make a living playing this sport.  so why act like the world ends when they don't always succeed??  school is most important...that's the reality of the issue.  they are here to get an education and become productive citizens!  i hope i've taught them something while i'm here, whether it's softball related or not, i could care less.  i hope they have learned how to be a better person in general and how to be confident and keep yourself going when it's not always easy.  I hope they have learned that more than anything else i could have taught them!

thanks to the gasoline spill in wellington, i have found a path i think i will pursue after my upcoming graduation! (i get to apply for graduation...exciting!!!)  EPA.  they offer a 2 year program for graduates to help jump start their careers in a business like the EPA.  i think i'll still study up for my personal training and strength and conditioning tests, because i'll probably know pretty quickly whether or not i get accepted into the program.  that way i'll have a plan b.  PLAN A: EPA  PLAN B: PERSONAL TRAINER/STRENGTH AND CONDITIONING COACH


sounds good to me! :)  haha  so now that i've spent time wasting time to read...i think i'll read! :)  eeek!  sleeping in til whenever tomorrow though...gonna love every minute of it! :)  have a good one guys!!

vacation...

last day of my vacation....boo!!!  i am truly enjoying my time in illinois this week with aaron as we visit his brother's family before he ships off to the navy.  we had some beautiful weather while we were here...which made for a great day to go on a bike ride!  this also brought to my attention something about myself...i want to live in a place where outdoor activities are encouraged...with an awesome bike/running path winding through a city!  i want to live in a place where i can ride my bike to work or walk there...and not be afraid of getting mugged on my way!

i always find it funny the times where you realize little tiny things about yourself.  here i am on vacation...enjoying myself...and picking up silly little things about what i want in the city where i decide to end up!

few pictures from vacay....

 on our bike ride, we saw 9 mute swans which was awesome!!  especially because they don't normally live in illinois...according to the field guide, they are locally found in the northeast!  not in illinois!  what?! :)

 rockin the shades!

just got a good deck of cards workout in again today.  pushups, situps, burpees, lunges, 20 leg levers, and 20 squat jumps.  working on losing body fat...weighed in today at 141.6...down from 144 when i started on jan 1! :)  and i find myself eating healthier as well...both a big plus!

not missing my job one bit either...i think that means it must not be my true calling.  one semester left...and then i'll get to decide what i want to do next in this crazy journey i am on! :)  i have no idea where i am going...and i have no idea what i'm going to do...but i'll find it eventually...i have time...next week i'll be back on my normal schedule which means more time to try and sort through it! :)  have a good snow covered day!

Happy New Year!

Welcome 2012!  I am excited for this upcoming year...I think there will definitely be lots of good things to come! :)  I know it's been awhile since I've posted, but Christmas was wonderful and I have had an exceptional break visiting with family and spending tons of time with Aaron!

My New Year was equally fantastic...good company as always!  So now it's resolution time.  I have a couple and feel like I could probably actually write upwards of 10!  But I don't want to put too much on my plate to try and change for 2012! So let's begin:
     1.  Cut my sugar intake!  When I make the trip back to Wellington, I go nuts on candy...mainly because it's readily available at mom and dad's.  Far too available!  I don't want to try and deprive myself of something entirely, but rather keep my hand out of the candy jar every waking moment when in town.  I don't buy it when I'm at school (minus Handel's ice cream...which I am extremely disciplined at surprisingly) so this is really a resolution that pertains to Wellington! :)
      2.  Workout 4-6 times a week.  I don't need to do a ton every day, but I need to do something!  This is pretty self-explanatory! :)
      3.  Lose body fat.  Starting January 3rd, I am going to begin keeping a food journal and I'm going to work on getting a very sensible and smart diet in place.  I know this will not happen overnight, and will be tough at first as I am on a strictly limited budget in terms of food.  But it is possible.  (I don't know my percentage now, but I will work on finding that out and then would like to lose around 5%)
     4.  Run a marathon!  I will do this at some point in 2012 I hope!!!  Considering the Cleveland half in May to use as my halfway marker, but we'll see! :)
    5.  Procrastinate less!  I often times find myself procrastinating on my school work and now that I'm in my last semester (hopefully for a very long time!) I would like to really work on not doing it so much!  I have to write a paper (20 pages) and I hope to have a majority of that finished by the time April rolls around!
   6.  Blog more...and add more pictures!!!  I enjoy the release of writing it down, and now I just need to be better about taking pictures of what's going on and then uploading them! :)

Please share with me your resolutions...I always love to hear what people want to work towards in the next year!  I wish everyone a wonderful 2012 and hope to hear from you all! :)